Obligatory Quake Post. Etc.
23 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
So by now all of you know about the earthquake today and I feel I would be doing a disservice to not blog about it… so here we go!
Today I took my girl to Children’s Hospital for an annual checkup for NF1. These appointments are usually an all day event, yet somehow today I managed to get out of there before 11am. I’m not sure how and it’ll probably never happen again, but let’s just say the Quake Gods were with me today.
Anyway, took the Lady and my dad to lunch when we got back and then retrieved The Man… and we all went putt-putting. We were maybe on hole 13 when the earthquake began. I say maybe because this place doesn’t have the holes numbered, and frankly, I’m still a little bothered by it. I feel all this shaking and look at my dad with my best WTF look. He’s kinda giving me the same look. Meanwhile, everyone around us doesn’t seem to be noticing… So then, my dad asks them if they felt that and they say they did. Now, what exactly were you people thinking that was? It’s not part of the putt-putt experience, kids. There’s no fake volcano erupting or anything of the nature. It’s not as if putt-putt is a big thing around here so it’s not like being at the beach with all the courses with all sorts of shenanigans. I’m still kinda baffled about these people around me… and furthermore, thankful that I’m not around said individuals in the event of any major emergency because clearly, I’d be a dead duck before they acted.
Anyway, that’s all I have about that… Moving on…
I’m very aware that I’m raising The Man and his dad isn’t really around to teach him all of those boy things he needs to know. It’s something I think about quite a bit, actually. He is 4 and he knows to open doors for ladies or older folks so I think that’s a start… but tonight it was just he and I at home. And something dropped and made quite a loud bang… and you know what he did. Nothing. He kept watching TV. So basically, it appears that I’m doing well raising a man!
Some lucky lady will thank me later.
My Momma
26 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
The woman seriously cracks me up. We don’t have that normal mom-daughter relationship. More like friends with a side of sass.
But seriously, the woman says some funny shit. I am my mother’s daughter, after all. But most recently – as in like 3 minutes ago – she was IMing me on Facebook.
And so this is now my new Facebook status… and probably my phone is about to ring and I’m about to get a whole lotta sass coming my way, but honestly, I’m dying laughing!
Reasons why I love my mother:
Mom: Did you hear about the slasher?
Me: WTH?
Mom: Some guy taking a box cutter and cuttin’ people’s asses and then getting away. Dad wanted me to go with him tomorrow but I said “Hell no – as big as my ass is I’d bleed to death”
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mom: It’s not funny!!! 5 people got hurt. Can you imagine having stitches in your ass? Crazy ass people.
Blog Award
09 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Randomness
Today I received Blog Award from @mummychronicles, who blogs at TwistedMummy.blogspot.com and is, of course, a Mommy blogger. You know, just in case the name didn’t give it away for you!
So now it’s my turn…. if you’re nominated…. here’s what you need to do..
1. Thank the person who gave you the award by linking back to them in your post
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself
3. Award a few recently discovered bloggers
4. Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news!
7 things, you say… Here goes!
1. My mom always told me “Love you to the moon and back” and it is still one of my favorite sayings. I would get a tattoo of that saying.
2. I want more tattoos. Though the whereabouts is still sketchy so we’ll see.
3. I love being a mom, but there is no chance in hell that I could ever be a stay at home mom. I mean, not unless the kids were like 15 or something.
4. I got 1 present for my birthday from the mailman… it was perfect. Just looking at it makes me smile.
5. I believe in holding some things back and leaving a little bit of mystery.
6. I do not find myself to be creative though many disagree with me.
7. I really dislike the Verizon Wireless new every 2 bullshit plan… I honestly believe they are cutting off their nose to spite their face because I believe people would buy phones more frequently if that program didn’t exist.
Now it’s your turn!
http://www.mynonprofitparadise.com/
http://littleelfs.blogspot.com/
http://www.freshstartdad.com/
http://www.mitchellonline.com/
http://drinkingfromamasonjar.wordpress.com/
Who Does That?
04 Jun 2011 3 Comments
Let’s just go ahead and start this blog by saying if you’re going to be offended by multiple curse words – discontinue reading. Like. Now.
MmmmK Thanks!
So, there’s this store that I absolutely adore. I go there all the time… seriously… ALL. THE. TIME. Well my birthday is tomorrow so they sent me a happy-birthday-here’s-some-extra-savings-coupons. My daughter and I went out to lunch and then off to shopping! Went shopping… spent a lot of money. I mean, I saved $226. But yea. I spent enough. My daughter wanted to go to Old Navy and get something so away we went since it is conveniently located next door. Buy a pair of sandals and we’re done…
We come out of Old Navy and I notice… There’s a tank parked next to me. Now. Let’s be clear… I don’t park next to people unless I absolutely have to. And when I say I don’t park next to them… I mean I park like 10 spaces away. I’m not a risk-taker in that department. Well… all the spaces leading up to my car are now occupied. But as I walk closer I notice the tank is pretty fucking close to my car. We get closer… closer… BAM. Holy fucking hell. My car was hit. And when this bitch hit me… it’s not like she bumped me and said “ooops” backed up and tried again. No. She kept going… from the wheel well all the way down the back door and 1/2 of the front!! Part of the “chrome” of her bumper is hanging from my car!!!
Now let’s be clear here – I’m fucking pissed. I’m shaking I’m so mad. And where is this bitch? Inside a fucking store! Did she leave me a note? NO.
This turns into me calling my parents… Mom answering and me replying “I need to speak to my dad right now.” My mom is a smart lady. She didn’t ask any questions on that note.
Then we call the police. Because so help this lady… if they don’t get there and she comes out to get in her car, I’m gonna lay her on her fucking ass.
Now we wait. Because this is low priority, of course!
So the police get there… run her tags. Get her name… and go into Famous Footwear where she’s WORKING and bring her outside. Now….. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Your ass went to work like this is normal. What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously.
She looks at me and says, “Oh my, I’m sorry, I didn’t know hit you.”
My reply, “I’m not really sure how you wouldn’t have known given the amount of damage.”
She bent the wheel well of the car! There is about zero possibility of her not knowing she hit it… ZERO.
Yea – so she didn’t speak to me after that. Fucking bitch. Or maybe I was the bitch at that point. And to be honest – I’m ok with that.
So blah blah blah I get her insurance information… granted, she’s driving a 1999 Suburban and it is in a state of… I don’t even know. It’s trash. Similar to the owner. The windshield is busted!!! And when I say busted.. I don’t mean a small crack. I mean it’s BUSTED. And it’s a little illegal to drive with that. But who the fuck am I?
So then, I come home…. Call my insurance company just to notify them that this is going on. My insurance company is laughing (not in a bad way – you just have to hear me speak and then you’d totally understand) because I’m baffled by the fact that this lady just got out and went about her day like this shit was normal. I’m already not ok with turning 30 tomorrow and now we’re gonna add this to the mix. I’m seriously not ok with this. I’ve made THREE payments on this fucking car. THREE!!!! And your ass just hit my fucking car, got out of your car, went in to sell some shoes for like $8/hr and didn’t say shit. Seriously. You need the shit kicked out of you.
Next up. Her insurance company. Who she has neglected to call at this point. Of course she’s neglected to call them. She’s busy selling shoes. And I’m pretty sure there was a BOGO sale going on. Fuck me sideways.
So Mr. Insurance Man says, “did my insured leave the scene?”
Well, sir, she got out of her car and went inside to sell shoes. Call it whatever you want. (He laughs under his breath) Oh, and by the way sir, while I was on hold waiting to get to you… I noticed your recording mentioned multiple times about windshield coverage. Well, you should really talk to your insured about that since she’s driving around with a busted windshield. She’d probably find this information helpful. (Again he laughs… I know he was trying hard not to.. and to be honest. I’d laugh at that if someone said it to me, too.)
The end result right now is that… I’m 31 minutes late to go out for my birthday with one of my best friends. And I’m way pissed.
Mostly though, I’m just amazed I haven’t cried yet today. Because this is really getting the best of me.
Didn’t know I hit you!!!
Up close and personal… Stupid bitch. If you can’t drive a tank. DON’T.
Wheel well… and some dirt!
PS I’m pretty sure there are typos in this… if so, I don’t give a damn. I’m late to party for my birthday for the love of your Momma!!!!
Another one bites the dust!
21 May 2011 Leave a Comment
That’s right… another tooth is gone from The Lady. Number 6 to be exact.
So the kids are actually with their dad this weekend… not that anyone would know that since they’re currently sitting on my sofa and all. But their little heads will be laying on pillows outside of this house tonight. Which presents a small issue? The Tooth Fairy doesn’t visit their father’s house. No Easter Bunny, Santa, etc. And not for disbelief in the process. Mostly out of the whole lazy trait.
Tonight should go well… hopefully The Lady will just go with putting it under her pillow on Sunday night instead.
Either way… at $5 a pop… I’m headed toward the poor house.
I think I’ll go calculate how many teeth are remaining now!
No Yard Sales For This Girl
21 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Randomness
My mom, aunt, uncle, great-uncle and Lord knows who else decided to have a yard sale at my parent’s house today. I don’t typically participate in these events because quite frankly… they suck. It’s hot. People want to give you a nickel for everything. It’s frustrating. And packing up the stuff at the end of the day just sucks. I hate it. So my daughter just called my mom (another post to come on why) and my mom told The Lady to put me on the phone.
She had a shoplifter. What the fuck. Seriously people. It’s a fucking yard sale and you took a “discount” on a $10 item. How low can you go? People amaze me daily with the dumb shit they do… but this kinda tops a lot of it.
We’ll just go ahead and add that to the list of reasons why I won’t be doing any yard sales. I’m more than happy to throw my shit in the trash or donate it elsewhere… but to hell with all the other nonsense that comes along with yard sales.
May is Neurofibromatosis Awareness Month
17 May 2011 Leave a Comment
Have you had enough of me spamming you about this yet?
I haven’t blogged in a while… not much to say, I suppose. I’m in a very happy place and the main issue is… I must blog when it hits me. Otherwise, I never remember what I thought was interesting and go back and blog. It’s just not how I work.
At any rate, I’m very passionate about neurofibromatosis and hope more than anything that a cure is found. Some of you that have followed me for a while know my passion about this comes from the fact that my daughter has this disorder. The blog about her disorder and the issues with my son can be found here.
She is only 6. She’s had 2 brain MRI’s and is due for a 3rd. Note to self: Call Children’s Hospital tomorrow!!! The poor girl has a whole team of doctors at Children’s Hospital. I never knew anything about this disorder until it entered my life with my daughter. It came into our life when she was 3 months old, though she wasn’t diagnosed until she was 15 months. This disorder is more common than many other diseases that we all know of… yet many don’t know about neurofibromatosis.
Enough rambling for now… if you want to learn more, keep reading. If not… move it along! 
Number 10: NF affects one in every 3,000 children born, more than cystic fibrosis, Duchenne muscular dystrophy and Huntington’s disease combined (learn more).
Number 9: It only takes 8 to 10 letters from you and your friends to your congressperson for them to start noticing that NF is a very REAL issue (learn more).
Number 8: NF research is shedding new light on cancer, learning disabilities, and bone abnormalities – benefiting people beyond the NF community (learn more).
Number 7: CTF was recently awarded our second straight 4-star (highest) rating by Charity Navigator – America’s largest independent charity evaluator! (learn more).
Number 6: The NF Clinic Network now has 42 recognized centers throughout the country and saw 10,000 patients last year (learn more).
Number 5: NASCAR star Kenny Wallace drove the Racing4Research #4 car at the 2011 Rolex 24 Hours at Daytona raising funds and awareness for NF! (learn more)
Number 4: The Children’s Tumor Foundation has tested 50 drugs for the manifestations of NF, each one moving us closer to treatments and a cure (learn more).
Number 3: In 2010 more than 1,500 Runners in NF Endurance Singlets crossed finish lines in 50 races nationwide for the NF Endurance Team (learn more).
Number 2: There are three forms of neurofibromatosis, NF1, NF2, and schwannomatosis, each cause tumors to grow on nerve endings in or on the body (learn more).
And the Number 1 thing to be Aware of on NF Awareness Day… NF is real. People who live with NF overcome incredible obstacles and you can do something about it Visit www.ctf.org and join our cause.
